$ WHY RETARDEPHANT?
$ THE TRUNK MANIFESTO
WE ARE TIRED OF SMART COINS. WE ARE TIRED OF UTILITY. WHAT EVEN IS A SMART CONTRACT? WE JUST DRAW AN ELEPHANT AND CHOOSE LIFE! WE DO NOT UNDERSTAND TOKENS. WE DO NOT UNDERSTAND DEFI. WE ONLY UNDERSTAND THE DEAFENING TRUMPET SOUND IN THE DARKNESS!!!
THIS IS NOT FINANCIAL ADVICE. THIS IS A LIFESTYLE CHOICE. WE ARE RIDING THE ELEPHANT INTO THE SUNSET. IT HAS NO BRAKES. IT HAS NO STEERING WHEEL. ONLY TRUNK!!! IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A SAFE HAVEN, GO AWAY! IF YOU WANT TO SCREAM INTO THE VOID WITH AN ELEPHANT, YOU ARE HOME!!!
$ THE ELEPHANT TROPHY ROOM
HOVER OVER THE TROPHIES TO REVEAL THE CRAYON POWER OF YOUR RANK!!!
$ GRAVITY TEST FIELD
THE ELEPHANT MASCOT IS HIGHLY UNSTABLE. DRAG HIM INTO THE AIR AND LET GO TO SEE THE COLLISION DYNAMICS OF A CRAYON BEAST!!!
$ CHRONICLES OF TRUNK CHAOS
PHASE 1: THE SPARK
A SLEEP-DEPRIVED DEV OPENS MS PAINT WITH SHAKY HANDS. THE CRAYON ELEPHANT IS BORN. THE WORLD WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN!!!
PHASE 2: THE LAUNCH SCREAM
WE SEND THE CONTRACT TO THE BLOCKCHAIN. PEOPLE CRY. THEY ASK "WHY IS IT CROOKED?" "WHY DOES IT HAVE NO BRAIN?" WE DO NOT ANSWER. WE JUST SCREAM!!!
PHASE 3: CRAYON SUPREMACY
COMMUNITY INVASION. EVERYONE THROWS AWAY THEIR CRYPTO CHARTS AND ONLY DRAWS BLUE ELEPHANTS. GLOBAL CRAYON SALES RISE BY 4500%!!!
PHASE 4: TOTAL TRUMPET OUTCOME
THE ELEPHANT ENTERS DEEP SPACE. WE FORGET ALL HUMAN LANGUAGES. THE ONLY SOUND REMAINING ON EARTH IS THE MAJESTIC TRUMPET SOUND!!!